Sometimes we say that word, conscious or unconsciously and also repeatedly. The truth is, I don’t like that word to the extend that I hate it. At least that is what I’m always say to myself. Yes, but… or if only sounds like an excuses for me. Because those word, kept me from moving forward. They made me keep regretting something that I even never did. So, I struggling to reduce using those words in my everyday life.
Adler (Alfred Adler who is known for his “Individual Psychology) said that every single human have safeguarding tendencies. They need to protect their pride or protect themselves from any humiliation in public. And they will do it consciously. He add that the most common safeguarding tendencies are making excuses. Which expressed with “yes, but.. or if only.…” It’s ok to protect our pride, but not really necessary if it only for building our self image or to save our comfort life style. Especially if we did it over and over again. It’s not healthy.
Rather than say “yes, but… or if only….” just say it straight right away, “yes or no”
Rather than say “if only…” let’s just say, “I will do it next time or I won’t do the same mistake, etc.”
Those words will definitely raise our mind in the positive way.